With every client, we start by getting to know them from their perspective, since they are the expert on their world. Research tells us that relationships are the agents of change, so we first start by building therapeutic relationships where children & adolescents feel safe and secure to open up about their inner wishes, wants, and needs. Each client is motivated differently, so our first effort is put toward recognizing how your child interacts in the world and the goal of their behaviors.

The simple fact is—all humans need connection.

In fact, Maslow states that love and belonging are needs that must be met in the hierarchy of needs for an individual to reach self-actualization. Children do not enter this world with bad intentions, so we must reframe what we’re seeing from our children beyond reducing them to their “disruptive” behaviors.

A child or adolescent might seek attention because they have a desire to connect and feel that they belong when they are being noticed. They need us to notice and involve them so they can feel useful and important.

A child or adolescent might seek power because they have a desire to grow and learn. They might feel that they belong more in a social setting when they are in control or when they are sharing their own lived expertise. They need us to let them help and to have a choice.

A child or adolescent might seek revenge because they feel that they don’t belong and they feel hurt. Hurting those who are closest to us is sometimes the safest route because the chances of being left behind or rejected are decreased with those who love and care about us. They need us to be present and validate their feelings.

A child or adolescent might display inadequacy in tasks because they feel that they do not belong and it’s safer in relationship to convince others not to expect anything from them. They need us to not to give up on them and to show them a small step in a healthy direction.

So our aim in the first few sessions with each child is to create that sense of safety. Once that has been established, then we delve into what motivations lie underneath the presenting behavior(s).

Once we’ve established a secure therapeutic relationship with your child, we’ll meet as adults to talk about initial observations and share techniques that will be effective in working on goals at home, at school, and in session. We’ll then decide our next step, possibly more individual sessions to continue working on our goals, further assessments, parent coaching, school consultations, or family play therapy.

Family therapy involves bringing in one or more members of a client's family into the session to open up lines of communication, learn new ways of connecting in relationship, support the repair of past ruptures, and encourage creative problem-solving.

We know this does sound amazing, and after reading this you probably want to start here, especially with what we've shared that healing happens in community — which means including you in the process.

However, at Ensemble Therapy, we spend our initial therapy sessions building a safe, secure, and connected relationship with our child clients to lay the foundation for therapeutic growth to occur. These initial sessions with child + clinician are critical.

During this time we also assess your child's strengths, adaptive coping skills, and protective factors they utilize during moments of increased stress and/or conflict. Each of our clients comes with a different-sized toolbox filled with a variety of strategies (helpful or maladaptive) they've learned along the way which takes some time to sort through.

This we promise — when your child is fully equipped to be successful in family therapy, we cannot wait to invite you into their therapeutic world.